


All I Think of is You

by Cinno_Angel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angels Have Visible Wings, Angst, Castiel Has Issues, Castiel Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Gabriel doesn't understand, Gabriel has magic, Gabriel is a sugar addict and we all know it, Gabriel is partially pagan, I don't know what to tag for chapter 2, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Kidnapping, More referenced death, No tag spoilers for unpublished chapters, Protective Gabriel, Sam Winchester Has Feelings, attempted ritual, lots of feelings, tags will be updated with each chapter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-20
Updated: 2019-04-30
Packaged: 2019-08-04 17:05:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16350683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cinno_Angel/pseuds/Cinno_Angel
Summary: Castiel Novak was a good man. He never failed to be loyal. He always tried to be kind. And his devotion knew no bounds. He served with all his heart. He was a shy, pure soul, bound only to service and devotion for good. But even the pure souls can be tainted. And the last thing he remembered was a cloth over his mouth and people dragging him away.





	1. Kidnapped

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! This is just an AU idea I had. Yes, tags will be updated with each chapter, and will only reveal what is published. I want to build suspense, and let you all worry about what will happen next. I will post at least once a week. 
> 
> As a warning, this first chapter is probably the roughest out of what is planned so far. So if you are not comfortable with heavily implied rape, then please, skip to chapter 2.

Castiel Novak was a good man. He never failed to be loyal. He always tried to be kind. And his devotion knew no bounds. He served with all his heart. He was a shy, pure soul, bound only to service and devotion for good. But even the pure souls can be tainted. And the last thing he remembered was a cloth over his mouth and people dragging him away.  


* * *

  
Everything sounded… muffled. Like the sounds couldn’t quite reach his ears. And from what he could pick up, he didn’t think he wanted to hear the sounds unmuffled. The sounds bored into his soul, his heart screaming at how sinful they were. This was wrong. This was very wrong. He tried to open his eyes but his vision swam. All he could see was blurry light and darkness. It was too much, trying to move even the slightest, opening his eyes, he felt.. drained. Castiel closed his eyes and went limp as he succumbed to unconsciousness again.  


* * *

  
This time when, he woke with a jolt, metal chains jostling and pulling his wrists and ankles back down from the sudden movement. Castiel's breath caught in his throat as he tried to process what was going on. He was laying on a stone slab that was frigid and drained not only his warmth, but also seemingly his energy. A few seconds of struggling quickly turned into a weak effort. He was pretty sure he'd drawn blood while struggling. Because the chain cuffs had sharp teeth on the insides, digging into his wrists and ankles slightly, constantly.   
Castiel swallowed and turned his head from side to side, trying to get his bearings. The room was large, cylindrical. There was fire light casting shadows and causing carvings to look like they were glowing. Unless… they really were glowing. Castiel swore he also saw figures in the shadows. He paled at the thought that he'd been kidnapped by a cult and this was how he was going to die.   
If Castiel hadn't been panicking before he definitely was panicking now. He once again tried making feeble attempts to pull at the chains as one of the figures approached. The figure was holding a cup and he couldn't tell if they were going to force him to drink something or drain his blood. Both were unwanted. The figure didn't hesitate to pinch his nose, causing him to gasp and giving them the opening to pour a thick liquid into his mouth. He tried to cough it up but his mouth was forced shut. He held out as long as he could. But when not being able to breathe was too much he reflexively swallowed the liquid, coughing when he finally could because of the bitterness.   
It seemed like as soon as he had swallowed the liquid that his senses were assaulted. His vision was swimming, his head pounding, but at the same time he could hear every little sound in the room, incenses burned at his nose as well as distant, appalling scents. He could even almost taste the smoke in the room from the burning incense and candles in the room. The stone he was laying on felt even colder than before. Castiel's head rolled to the side, his chest heaving because he felt like he was still suffocating.   
Chanting began to fill the room. At first the chanting was crisp and clear. But slowly the noise became drowned out. Like he was being dragged into a pool of tar. His skin tingled with pin pricks of heat. Suddenly a piercing burning feeling shot through his very being. He cried out in pain, back arching off the table. It felt like his soul was on fire and being torn to shreds. He begged them to stop, for the pain to stop. Please, please, stop, please.  
Unconsciousness came with a flash of white light.  


* * *

  
It was cold, yet it still felt like his soul was burning. He came to with a groan. The first thing he noticed was he was still laying on stone, but there were no chains holding him down. He slowly sat up, noting that he wasn’t.. stiff. And his ankles and wrists didn’t hurt either. He hesitantly rubbed at them and found dried blood, but no wounds. He was afraid of what that meant.   
Slowly, Castiel looked around. He was in a stone cell, no windows, with a door that resembled a cage door. What he had been laying on, was a stone slab protruding from the wall. What he supposed was supposed to be his ‘bed’. There really wasn’t anything else, not even a bucket as a bathroom. Castiel grimaced as smells started bombarding his nose. Filth, waste, blood, and… he wasn’t going to think about what else he smelled. It was bad enough that he wasn’t wearing any clothes and that he could also hear everything going on outside his cells. How many people were trapped here? The thought made Castiel shudder.   
Castiel curled up the best he could on his slab of frigid stone. What had he done to deserve this fate? Left with a burning soul and imminent.. torture…. Castiel closed his eyes and tried to block everything out so that he could pray. “Please god, if you may have mercy on me, free me from this place, or strike me down for becoming unclean,” He whispered as quietly as he could, with desperation pouring from his very being.   
Castiel jolted, startled from his prayer when someone banged on the door of his cell. He looked up wide eyed, at two men standing just on the other side of the metal bars. He was terrified. He feared they would drag him back to that table, those chains. Or that they would do something even worse to him. He swallowed, drawing in closer to himself, trying to hide in the corner as much as possible.   
“Look at it, hiding in the corner. Looks more pitiful than any others I’ve seen right after,” One of the men, the one with the red streak in his hair, said as he unlocked the door. “It probably hasn’t lost itself yet. A monster trying to cling onto humanity,” The other, the one with a lazy eye, snorted. “Whatever, let’s just feed it,” Red streak said with a roll of his eyes as he stepped into Castiel’s cell with lazy eye.   
Castiel couldn’t suppress the small squeak he made as he tried to backup, hide, get away. But he was already trapped in a corner. He had nowhere to go. For some reason he was terrified of what they said. Monster. Feed it. He didn't have to wait long to find out what they meant. He wish he hadn't. They violated him. Completely. Took his virginity and left him bare on the stone floor. He wished he'd died on that stone table.   


* * *

  
Castiel didn't know how many days had passed. There was no visible outside. Figurs. They were probably underground. He had figured out that the men here kidnapped people and used a ritual to turn them into demons, specifically succubus and incubus. He'd seen some of the turned, some with only a few changed features, others completely unrecognizable from the humans they had once been. Castiel was terrified of what he would turn into. Even though feedings didn't do anything to or for him.   
That was the strange thing. He wasn't being effected like he suspected others were. There was no desire, need. He didn't want to be touched they way they touched him, at all. He was hungry, for real food, but not starving. He knew he should be dehydrated but he didn't feel like it. Maybe the ritual hadn't gone through and he was left in some inbetween state. He didn't know what was worse though.   
Castiel jolted up right from where he lay on his stone bed. Gunshots, so loud, too loud. He quickly moved into his corner, trembling, trying to hide. He didn't know what was going on. Were they killing people? Shouting, screeches, so much noise, so many gunshots. Castiel jumped as one of the men, red streak, was thrown down the hall. And then the next thing he saw was gold.   



	2. Rescue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SPI. Supernatural Paranormal Investigations. An international agency that lay partially in secret, based in Kansas. 
> 
> Dean, the leader of the Hunters, has a mission that is worse than expected. At least he has an archangel as back up.

SPI. Supernatural Paranormal Investigations. An international agency that lay partially in secret, based in Kansas. Home base was a massive building that housed thousands of creatures and even humans. The first five floors were all just human resources and public relations. There was a floor that acted as a hospital, probably the most advanced in the country. There was a R&D floor. A floor just for weaponry. A floor for labs. A standard personal housing floor. A number of other floors. Plus the three for the Hunters division and the three for the M.O.L division. But those two were more important later. 

These weren't all that the SPI held. There were three other sectors. Just underneath the building, going down for the equivalent of 10 floors was what was known as Purgatory. It housed almost all the supernatural creatures captured and brought in. Underneath that was specifically where demons were kept, aptly named Hell. There weren't many options to kill demons. It was easier to capture them and lock them up. Neither were pleasant places to be in. Even if one of the demons could be reasoned with, and several of the other supernatural creatures had turned to working for SPI.

It is important to note the shape of the building when the third sector is discussed. The third sector was the only one above ground for non humans. The SPI building was designed nearly identical to the Pentagon, except it was taller and the center cut out was a bit larger. There was also a glass roof over the center cut out. That is because the center housed angels. The third sector, designated Heaven, was filled with trees, plants, and plenty of open space. In the trees were huts, with bridges and ladders connecting parts. It looked like the ewok village from Star Wars. Though, the bridges and ladders weren't necessary for the angels as they could fly anywhere they wanted, the humans that took care of the angels used them. 

Angels were Dean's favorite to work with. Every angel at what was a sanctuary for them, had been rescued and brought there. Surprisingly, many even chose to stay. None of the angels were trapped here. But many made it a home. Even if they couldn't go out super easily and fly around because of the glass roof, they could walk out of the building. They even had access to large portions of the building. 

Dean sighed as he finished suiting up for the mission ahead. The leader of the Hunters division. Hunters stayed mostly in the United States, sometimes going into Canada. They had been what started SPI in a sense. And had grown to so much more. There was the investigation division, who searched for supernatural and paranormal cases in the states, and also mostly stayed at the SPI building. The scout division who were usually the first out on the field and gathered information from outside sources that the investigation division couldn’t get to. Then the strike team. Dean may have been in charge of the entire Hunters division, but he also commanded the strike force. They brought down nests of vampires, demons, werewolves, any creature you could think of. If scouts knew they couldn’t handle a situation easily, then strike was called in. That was, unless M.O.L took their job.

The Men of Letters. They were technically the sister group to the Hunters, but the two groups were always at each other's throats. While the M.O.L. took care of more of the international sides. They also dealt in the extremely dangerous situations that they specifically trained for. Even if the Hunters were perfectly capable of taking care of a lot of the same situations. Though, the M.O.L. did have more magical training. But the Hunters were on very good terms with the angels. The M.O.L. may have captured  _ Lucifer _ . But it was Dean’s quick thinking to bring Michael into the situation that had Lucifer now living happily at the sanctuary with the other angels. The M.O.L. might’ve had grand gadgets but they didn’t have the same experience as Hunters. They could kill any creature, but Hunters could capture any creature and even convince them to join their side. There was a vampire that was part of the Hunters. If that wasn’t proof that Hunters were better, Dean didn’t know what was.

Dean was startled from his stop by a flap of wings outside his room, signalling an angel had landed on his balcony. He specifically a room that faced the heaven sector so that angels could come and go as the pleased. He liked talking to them, and they enjoyed talking to him. Dean turned to see which of the angels had come to visit and wasn’t surprised when he saw one of the “archangels”. Six massive golden wings, folded neatly against the back of the small figure, pressing against angel made armor. The armor may have looked like fabric, but Dean knew it was stronger than anything they had ever made. It was kind of like the mithril shirt in Lord of the Rings. “Hey Gabriel. Are you joining us?” Dean only asked because the angel thoroughly enjoyed going out on missions with the Hunters. 

Gabriel grinned at Dean’s question, “You know me well Dean-O. But yeah. Let me come. Michael, Luci, and Raphael are being booooring. And Balthazar is busy with someone from Human Resources,” Gabriel’s statement of planning on joining the Hunters for the mission turned into complaining. 

Dean chuckled and shook his head slightly. He wasn’t surprised by Gabriel’s complaining. The only times Gabriel seemed truly content was when he was with them on a demon mission and being helpful or Sam was visiting. Luckily for Gabriel, this was a demon mission. “You’ll be good for this mission. We’ve been tracking an occult group that seems to be kidnapping people and turning them into demons. They haven’t kidnapped anyone in several weeks, but they were caught on camera the last time the kidnapped someone. So we’ve been able to track them finally to what has to be their base.”

Gabriel’s wings bristled as Dean explained what the mission was. People turning into demons because of their own corruption was one thing. But people forcing the souls of others to become corrupt and turn them into demons was horrible. Gabriel hated it. He would gladly assist the Hunters in bringing this group of monsters down before they could turn anyone else. “Why are we still sitting around talking then?” He questioned.

“Right. Let’s get a move on if you’re ready. The rest of the team should already be waiting,” Dean said. He could tell Gabriel was upset from his wings. Wings were like cat tails. Expressive and sometimes with minds of their own. Dean had spent hours upon hours cataloging things about angel wings. You’d think he was one of the caretakers for angels, but he wasn't. He was just a friend of them. Someone who really enjoyed learning about them. 

Dean checked to make sure all his weapons were strapped to where they needed to be before heading out of his room. Gabriel followed close to him as he walked down to the garage to meet up with the rest of the strike Hunters. Everyone was geared up and ready to go. They split up into cars based on the groups they’d be in when attacking. Dean took his Impala like always, with Gabriel sat in the back accommodating his wings, and Dean’s friend Benny took the passenger seat. The impala led the parade of cars for the long drive.

* * *

 

Gabriel could feel the corruption in the air even before they pulled up to the building that the cult was supposed to be based in. He couldn’t stop the growl that rose from his throat. He’d felt a lot of bad energies, but this bad it into the top 5 worst. He didn’t waste a second to hop out of the car when Dean stopped. His wings were fluffed up and out in a defensive position. He prowled slowly towards the building that looked rather abandoned. 

Dean noticed the way Gabriel was acting immediately. Angels only ever acted like this, especially one so carefree like Gabriel, when something was really wrong. “We’ll follow Gabriel in. Once we are in, we know where people are, we’ll split into our groups,” He ordered the other Hunters as they all got out of their different cars. Dean was quick to catch up to Benny and Gabriel, both who were already heading into the building. 

Gabriel was tense as he followed the air of corruption as it became heavier and heavier. He knew the vampire was starting to feel it and it probably wouldn’t be long before even the humans could feel the corruption. He stopped in front of a wall. He could immediately tell that it was fake, no matter how real it looked. He growled and unleashed a blast of power that turned the wall into dust.

Dean’s jaw dropped as the wall disintegrated, revealing a flight of stairs into darkness. He knew angels were powerful, especially the archangels, but he didn’t think he would ever be able to get used to the raw power that they could display. He quickly hurried after Gabriel who was bounding down the stairs, 5 or 6 at a time. As they descended he could feel how bad this place was. And then he heard it. And it was worse than he had imagined. Obviously he had known it would be bad but this was… this was worse than bad. And then Gabriel screeched. 

Dean had only heard an angel shreech once. When the M.O.L. had tried to put Lucifer down and Dean ran in with Michael. Michael had screeched so loud most of the M.O.L. had been deaf for hours afterwards. Luckily, this time Dean covered his ears before his eardrums nearly burst like the last time. He could guess that Gabriel was mad enough to screech because of the sight. The people who had been turned into demons that fed from sex. They hadn’t even known that it was this bad. Sure they’d known people were being turned into demons, but not succubus and incubus. That was a whole different level of messed up. 

Gabriel hadn’t screeched because of the horror of the situation. But because there was a  _ pure _ soul burning and screaming for help. He hated the idea that there was a pure soul. He ignored the Hunters as they started firing on the cult members and using demon trap bullets on the demons so they could bring them back. Instead Gabriel took the air, for a moment his pupils burned blue with angel grace before his magic mixed with grace and his eyes turned a bright gold that matched his wings. He almost seemed to glow. 

Gabriel dived down and slammed into one of the cult members that tried letting an incubus loose on him. The man was sent flying down the hall as Gabriel threw him. The archangel lept into the air, searching for the soul in pain. When he located the soul he flew down, ground cracking beneath his feet as he landed. His wings flared out, catching every ray of light and shining golden, almost like fire. 

He turned his head to the man trapped in the cell. The soul he saw was fluttering as it fought the corruption around it. While it looked so small and weak it was burning with such a purity and brightness. Gabriel wondered if the man could feel how it burned. And if he knew that the burning wasn’t evil, but good. 

“Thank you for your mercy,” The man whispered, voice cracked from abuse, before his eyes rolled back and he slumped over, unconscious taking hold of him. The abuse was more than clear. And any normal soul would’ve cracked by now. This man was special and Gabriel could see that as clear as day.

Gabriel dived forward and caught the man. He wrapped his lower set of wings around the man, to protect him, keep him safe from the eyes of others. Gabriel certainly wasn’t letting this man out of his sight for at least several days. Gabriel didn’t attach himself to people easily. That ended in pain more often than not. But this man was something special. He could feel it.

Gabriel returned to where Dean was, flying to get there quicker. Though of course he only used his middle and to set of wings, as his lower wings were still wrapped around the man. He landed next to Dean. “I found someone who hasn’t been turned yet. His soul is weak though. We need to get him out of here,” The archangel urged.

Dean was surprised by Gabriel’s rather sudden appearance. He thought the archangel was clearing out the rest of this… catacomb was probably the closest word to describe this place. Though, the cult members had surrendered very quickly after Gabriel had thrown one of the members. The hard part so far had been trapping all the demons. But they were managing. Now, Dean was surprised to see Gabriel return with a man in his arms, wrapped in gold wings. Dean had a feeling that Gabriel had a very good reason for having wrapped the man in his wings. “Get him out to the car. Benny, you go with them in case something happens,” Dean ordered, “I’ll get to the car as soon as I make sure the situation is stable.”

Gabriel nodded once and took flight again, heading up and outside to the car as quickly as he safely could, with Benny running to keep up with him. He set down and for the first time since they arrived, folded his middle and top sets of wings against his back. He only then realized, powering down, easing up, that it was a little ridiculous how he was smaller than this man. But this man was also in bad shape. It made Gabriel upset. To think of what the cult was doing to cause this man to become malnourished, yet have skin stretch in the wrong ways, bulge even. Gabriel seethed a little, ignoring the look from Benny as they got in the car. Gabriel was definitely putting his name down for wanting to interrogate the members of this awful cult. They needed to pay.


	3. Everything is NOT okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel wakes up, and well, everything is not okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am terribly sorry for the late update! I was sick for a week and then I had to focus on other things. Hopefully we will be back to more regularly scheduled updates soon.

Castiel gasped and shuddered as bright light flooded his vision, the images of what had been torture to him still burned into his mind, as they felt like they had all happened just seconds ago. He curled up and covered his his head with his arms. It took him a couple of moments to realize, he wasn’t lying on cold stone. He hesitantly placed a hand on what was beneath him. It was a mattress, an actual mattress covered with white sheets. And there was a soft blanket on top of him. 

Hesitantly he sat up. The first thing he noticed as all the bright light that was causing him to blink. He looked out one of the windows and was surprised to see what almost looked like a forest. But he couldn't see much due to the natural sunlight. At least the lights in the room he was in were off. Then he noticed the two needles in his arm and followed the tubes they were attached to, to a IV drip. That would explain why he felt better but also sluggish. Probably a sedative in there. Was he in a hospital? Well, he was in a white hospital gown, and there was a soft fabric band around his wrist. It looked like a hospital band. Labelled Doe, John. Male. No date of birth. And SPI hospital branch, S recovery ward? The name of the hospital and ward confused him. 

Castiel turned his head to look around more and jumped when he saw a gold mound curled up in one of the armchairs in the room. It took him a moment to realize that the mound was  _ moving _ , like it was breathing, and that it was made up of  _ feathers.  _ Castiel tensed and drew his knees to his chest. And then the mass started moving. Gold stretched out, turning into six massive wings. Terror coursed through Castiel. Until the person the wings belonged to sat up. Then Castiel was slightly confused. Because the person looked so normal and was, small, for having such large wings. 

Gabriel blinked as he stretched and woke up. It took him only a brief moment to realize the man was awake, after several days. Gabriel was surprised to see that the man's soul was even looking more normal. It was obviously scarred from what had happened. But now it gave a steady glow. Gabriel quickly realized that the man was staring at him, that he was afraid. “oh, jeez, I'm sorry. You probably don't even know what I am or what's going on,” Gabriel apologized, tucking his wings tightly against his back to try and make them look less massive. “It's okay. You're safe here. My name is Gabriel.”

“you're… are you… is this..” Castiel had so many questions but he couldn't ask any of them. The words got caught in a lump in his throat. He trembled slightly. Either he was dead and god had had mercy and spared him, that this was Gabriel the archangel. Or none of this was real and it was just a cruel illusion to add to his torture. It was painfully likely that this was just an illusion. 

“Yes I am an angel. Probably too soon to explain this. No I am not the Gabriel in the bible but I do take credit for some of it. No this is not heaven. You're not dead. I promise,” Gabriel answered quickly, hoping that those were the questions the man wanted answers to. Maybe he talked too much. But he didn't know what was too much for him. Gabriel just knew his soul looked fine, so he should be fine, right? 

Castiel was anything but fine. He was more than certain he’d reached the brink and was now having a mental breakdown. Yes. That explained everything. So much had been taken from him and all that had been left was insanity. A fantasy in his mind while they used him, no, used the demon he must’ve finally become. Angels don’t rescue people who are corrupted. 

A broken sob escaped his lips and before he knew it, his hands were covering his face, blocking salty tears that were staining his cheeks. His body trembled. This was it. It was all over. The end had come to him and he wouldn’t even be able to die. He would be stuck in some fantasy until he woke up from this dream and found himself a demon succumbed to horrors he didn’t want to think about.

Okay. He had been wrong. Gabriel apparently knew nothing. He was really worried now. He didn’t know what to do. This wasn’t really his thing. Maybe… Dean would know what to do. Yeah. That’s what he would do. Gabriel quickly got to his feet and ran out of the room. It only took a few bounds through the hall until he literally ran into Dean. “Oh thank the powers above,” Gabriel said, letting out a relieved breath. “We have a problem. The man.. Something is wrong with him. He just.. I don’t know.. Broke down.”

“woah, easy there,” Dean was quick to steady the fast talking angel that had just ran into him. He was able to piece together Gabriel's frantic words and let them sink in, forming an idea of a plan. “Go get a nurse. I'll make sure he doesn't hurt himself.” Dean shoved Gabriel in the direction of the nurses’ office before running to the man's room. 

Dean was quick to step inside but he was also cautious. He slowly walked in, not wanting to startle the man that was curled up on the bed, trembling from sobs. At least the IV were still in and didn't seem to be hurting him. Those would likely be needed. He carefully approached the man and reached to place a hand on his shoulder. 

Castiel violently flinched the moment contact was made with his shoulder. It was someone new. A normal looking man, tall, wearing plaid of all things. But Castiel only looked for a split second before he was cowering again. Whimpers mixed with sobs and his voice sounded scratchy, broken. Fear wracked his body. Please. He didn't want to be hurt anymore. Just make it all stop. 

Dead was initially caught off guard by the reaction, but he'd seen a lot of people brought in from supernatural incidents. His own brother had been forced to become addicted to demon's blood and it had nearly completely destroyed him. So it only took Dean a split second to recompose himself. “Hey. It's okay. I'm not here to hurt you. See?” Dean took a few steps back so he was out of touching distance. “You're okay. You're at a hospital. A nurse will be here any minute to take care of you.” 

Castiel continued to tremble. He was still terrified of what was going on. For a moment it got worse when a numb feeling creeped over him, but only for a moment as his body gave in. He unwillingly relaxed, vaguely aware of a nurse adjusting the way he was positioned so he was laying on his back, not his side. Sedative. He must've been given sedative. Or this was still part of the illusion. But he couldn't really think about it. His mind became clouded. He didn't really remember what happened next. The nurse might've given him some water that he had barely been able to swallow. At least it wasn't long before he sunk back into the dark, unconsciousness welcoming him. 

Dean sighed as he watched the nurse take care of the man. He could only guess how bad it must be from what he'd seen on previous cases. “How is he?” Dean asked, wanting an update. He could also let Gabriel know. Because he figured Gabriel would want to know, but shouldn't be around the man right now. 

“physically, he's doing better than expected. We thought we might've had to ask Raphael to come in and heal him, but he's healing surprisingly well on his own. He's still malnourished, but his body is taking the provided nutrients easily. We should be able to take him off the drips in a day or two,” then she sighed, “Mentally seems to be another story. We already had him on a light sedative because he was having nightmares and was at a danger risk to himself, even unconscious. And after this panic attack, it's clear he's in bad shape, though seeing an angel was likely a contributing factor. We will assign him a therapist once he is able, but I also suggest asking your brother to visit. He likely has the best understanding of what this man is going through.” 

Dean sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I'll let Gabriel know and have him stay back. He won't be happy, but it'll be for the best. And, I'll text Sam, let him know the situation, see if he'll come help. Do you mind if I stay here? I don't think we should leave this man alone, and he is involved in my case, so I can handle it.” 

The nurse hesitated before giving in. “Alright. If you are sure. Let me or one of the other nurses know immediately when he wakes up,” She said in a firm tone, making it clear he was to follow all her instructions. She checked the IV before leaving, closing the door behind her. 

Dean dropped down into the chair he guessed had previously been occupied by Gabriel. He sighed and watched the man for a moment. He couldn’t help but wonder who he was, and why he was different from the others they had found. He was sure there was something, because Gabriel had gotten so protective so quickly. He pulled out his phone after a minute and updated Gabriel. Gabriel was the only angel with a phone, but that was probably only because Sam had gotten him one. Sam had tried to get all the archangels phones to start acclimating angels to technology and such, but the other three had declined his offer. Dean bet Gabriel only wanted a phone to stay in contact with Sam. Those two. Honestly. 

As he had expected, he received an agitated response in the form of a lengthy rant text from Gabriel. In which he responded to telling him to go take care of his responsibilities to the angel flock. And he also promised that he was going to convince Sam to visit. That seemed to satisfy the trickster archangel for now. 

Now Dean had to actually text his brother and fill him in. That was awkward. But at least Sam was quick to agree to at least come and visit everyone, even if he didn’t feel up to meeting the mystery man. Dean wasn’t going to push it. He knew demons were a sensitive subject for Sam. They were the reason he left SPI. 

With that taken care of, Dean sunk in his seat slightly with yet another sigh, this one a bit more exasperated. Why did this have to turn into a difficult case? Whatever, they’d figure everything out sooner or later. Hopefully. 


	4. A Lot Happens and yet Nothing at the Same Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam shows up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> School has kind of taken over. So I have bits of chapters for various fanfics all over my files. But I finished this one, so here we go. I am using double lines for a pov change.

There was no blinding light when he woke up. But he felt heavy, like something was weighing him down. It was different from the heaviness and drowsiness when he had been kidnapped. It was warmer. No, he was warm for a different reason. There was movement brushing against him and he managed to open his eyes partially to see a man laying another blanket over him. He vaguely recognized the man. When had he seen him? He didn’t know but something in his gut told him that he was safe with this man. And it didn’t take the man long to notice Castiel was awake. 

Dean was just finishing lay another blanket over the man. It was dark, nearly midnight, but the man had seemed cold so Dean, who had been reviewing the reports from his Hunters, had decided to give him another blanket. That’s when his eyes might bright blue ones. He hadn’t realized the man was awake and he quickly backed up before he could send him into a panic. But the man didn't seem too disturbed at the moment. Maybe it was the drugs. Yeah. That had to be it. 

“Hey,” Dean slowly sat at the very edge of the foot of the bed, putting his hands between his legs. He was were the man should be able to see him. And he was keeping his hands to himself. He knew he should get a nurse, but the man seemed like he would fall back asleep any minute so he decided against it. “My name is Dean,” He said, “You’re probably wondering what is going on.”

Dean was surprised when he actually got a nod from the man. Well, that was something, probably good. Dean cleared his throat a little and began to explain. “You’re at SPI, an investigations agency that deals with the supernatural and the paranormal. This is one of the hospital wards, specifically, the S ward, for recovery from supernatural incidents.” The man looked away and Dean frowned slightly, wondering what was going through his mind. He decided to continue lightly. “We found you in bad shape from a supernatural incident. But the nurse said you are actually healing really well! Which is great. Gabriel has even said that your soul is glowing very brightly and in full light despite how it was when he found it.”

Castiel furrowed his brows ever so slightly. Well, he supposed the supernatural had to be real and he knew that because of the supernatural incident Dean said they’d found him from. Demons. So maybe this was real. But it was insane even if it was. And it didn’t change what happened. This, Gabriel, must’ve been confused if he said his soul was bright. There was no way that was possible after what had happened. He closed his eyes, unhappy, and without even meaning to he drifted off.

Dean had started talking about how when he was able to they could contact his family, and what resources SPI offered, but he stopped suddenly when he noticed the man had fallen asleep. That’s what he thought would happen, and he had been right. He couldn’t help but smile. There was just something. He had the urge to keep this man safe and protected. And he hoped he would be able to do that. He just couldn't put his finger on why he felt this way. Maybe it was worth talking to the archangels about. Probably not though. He was just being nuts. Dean settled in for another wait. 

* * *

 

It was dark again, the nice kind of dark he'd woken up to briefly last night. Castiel's eyes fluttered open and he rubbed them, crusted stuff flaking away. He didn't feel heavy anymore. He felt.. refreshed, almost. He knew he needed a shower, to scrub his skin raw and remove the lingering feeling of others. He didn't know if he'd be able to get a shower soon though. Slowly, with stiff muscles now that he thought about it, he sat up. He was alone. He wasn't sure how to feel about that. He did notice though that there was an IV needle in his arm and he found himself tempted to poke at it. But he refrained. It was there for a reason. He just didn't know if it was a good one, or a bad one. 

Cass’ eyes snapped up as the door opened and someone entered. For that moment he could see out of the room, he was sure he saw a sliver of gold. Cass tensed, having no idea what to make of this newcomer. He curled up slightly, careful of the needle in his arm, and gripping the edge of the blanket he vaguely remembered from last night. Dean… where was Dean? Was Dean even real? Cass tried not to fall into a panic and the stranger was at his side instantly. Their hands were close but not touching him.

“Hey, it's okay. Breathe with me,” They said. Cass did his best to follow their slow breathing and after a few minutes felt slightly better, though once coming to his senses he did shy away from them. The stranger, he could now make them out to be a man, seemed to understand and backed off. The other knew he needed space, a currently unspoken understanding. How…?

“My name is Sam,” The strange man finally introduced himself. “You've probably met my brother, Dean. He's the one who asked me to come meet you.” Cass watched Sam's hands. Sam didn't seem to know what to do with them as he spoke.  _ Dean was real. _ “I wouldn't normally come here,” Sam continued, “But Dean explained somethings to me so I couldn't not come. I know it must be hard for you right now.”

Cass looked away and Sam sighed before pulling a chair a little closer to the bed, sitting down. “Keeping everything locked up isn't going to make the pain go away. And the pain is never going to completely go away. Trust me.” Sam told him. But Cass didn't want to talk to Sam. Sam was new, strange. Everything here was strange. Cass curled up with his back to Sam, tears trying to force their way past tightly closed eyes. 

Sam was about to try and comfort him when a nurse and Dean came in. Dean literally dragged Sam out while the nurse apologized to Cass and let him cry, get rid of the stress. Well, not completely. But crying is healthy so as long as Cass didn't hurt himself the nurse would let him have his moment. 

* * *

 

* * *

 

Dean was almost absolutely infuriated at his brother. Yeah, he knew Sam just wanted to help, but he was an absolute idiot sometimes. Dean was pretty sure he was lucky he had shown up when he did. Who knows what might've happened if he had been any later. Sam and or their mystery man could've gotten hurt. 

Dean hadn't even known Sam had arrived at the building. From what Sam had initially said he hadn't even thought he would come close to the man's room. Dean had left the room for maybe ten minutes to talk to a nurse, a nurse that had decided to come back with him, and they found Gabriel outside the room. It was Gabriel who told them Sam had gone in. Dean immediately went in because he'd seen the state the man was in. Sam might have first hand experience but this wasn't just any normal situation and Sam should've known that. So now Dean was pacing back and forth in the hall while Sam stared at the floor. At least Gabriel had wisely fluttered off somewhere. 

“Dean-” Sam started, but Dean raised a hand and cut him off. “What were you thinking Sammy?! Why the hell did you thinking going in there would be good for him or you?” Dean questioned sharply. He knew he was being harsh with his brother but he was just so frustrated over Sam's actions. 

“Don't call me Sammy,” Sam huffed, “And don't you think I thought about it? From what you said I'm the closest to having gone through what he did. I was alone when I was recovering. No one else understood. So I realized that he shouldn't have to go through what I did! He should have someone to turn to who knows what it's like to have your very soul torn at.”

“I was there with you every step of the way while you were recovering!” Dean countered. He tried not to sound hurt by Sam's words. But that was easier said than done. “Yeah, we would like it if you could talk to him and do your whole comfort thing, but he hasn't even been here a week Sam! He barely knows what's going on! At least you were somewhere familiar when you were recovering. He's not. He's in an unfamiliar room, with unfamiliar people, in who knows what city or even country, and probably in shock.”

Sam pursed his lips in away Dean could tell was him trying to control his temper and not lash out too much. They had been on rocky terms for a while. Arguing happened more often than either would like. “Dean, I get it. Okay, so maybe I made a decision that wasn't the best. But I had to try. Gabriel told me there was something different about him, which there must be if he survived being corrupted and turned into a demon. I barely survived. So I wanted to help him.” 

Dean sighed. There goes his brother. Always trying to do his best. “Okay, just.. don't try to talk to him without telling me first, please?” maybe it was logic that suggested it, or maybe it was that little whisper that had him drawn to keep the mystery man safe. “I want to help him just as much as you do, but we have to be slow and careful right now.”

“Sure,” Sam said, like the argument they had just had wasn't still lingering and they both couldn't feel the tension. “I'm going to go find Gabriel.” With that Sam turned heel and walked off before Dean could even consider stopping him. Dean groaned a little and ran a hand through his hair. He loved Sam, he honestly did,  but sometimes his brother was just so difficult to work with. 

Dean stayed out in the hall for a few more minutes, recomposing himself. He'd apologize to Sam later. Right now he wanted to check and make sure everything was okay with the mystery man. He'd been okay with him last night so he was an okay person, right? Dean hoped so. He turned to the door and knocked lightly before entering. 

The nurse had just finished taking care of the man and he was poking at the two bandaids that were now on his arm. Dean couldn’t help but crack a smile, “Looks like you’re protected from demons now,” He joked. When he received a puzzled look he quickly explained. “These symbols are anti possession sigils. They keep people from being possessed by demons,” Dean said pointing to one of the bandaids. Then he pointed to the other, “And these are devil’s traps, which you guessed it, trap the demon within. So if you’re still able to move pretty freely around and haven't lost any powers you haven’t told us about, you’re not a demon.”

Dean hoped his words would help reassure the man that he was okay, and it seemed to work, the man looked like he relaxed a little. So Dean pulled up a chair, making sure to maintain some distance. “Sorry about my brother. He meant well. He just doesn’t always make the smartest of choices.” Dean ran a hand through his hair and pursed his lips. “Hey, ah, do you think we could get your name? I bet you’re way more than just a John Doe, and I kind of keep referring to you as the mystery man.” Dean chuckled, embarrassed at himself.

He watched the man, who seemed to hesitate, and then try to find his voice. The man coughed and Dean immediately grabbed a glass of water that had been sitting on the nightstand in the room. The water was probably a day old or so, but that didn’t matter. Hopefully.

The man coughed a little bit more in a way that seemed to be for clearing his throat. “Thank you,” He said in a quiet, raspy voice. But hey, at least he could talk. Not everyone made it out of a supernatural encounter able to talk. He had to cough again before he could continue. “My name is… Castiel. Castiel Novak.”

Dean grabbed a pen that happened to be on the nightstand, probably left on accident by a nurse, and quickly scribbled the name onto the back of his hand. He smiled adding a smiley face for the heck of it. “Castiel, I like it. Can I call you Cass though?” Dean asked. He couldn’t help but smile more when he received a nod for an answer. “Great! Well, I should let you rest Cass. I’m sure a nurse will come in here before it gets too late, so if you need anything just ask them,” Dean said as he stood up. He returned the chair to its place. “Sleep well Cass.” With that he turned and headed out of the room. 

* * *

 

The sun was setting, darkening the heaven sector yet filling it with a gorgeous orange light. Dean clambered up the rope ladder to Gabriel’s hut. It was a long climb, as Gabriel’s was one of the highest huts, but he didn’t mind. He pulled himself onto the deck that surrounded the hut and was relieved to see Sam and Gabriel, both leaning against the safety railing. Gabriel glanced over at him and he put a hand up, holding the other out. “Peace offering?” He had brought a case of beer to share with Sam, and Gabriel if he wanted any. Not that Gabriel could get drunk. Dean knew that. Totally. 

Sam finally turned to look at Dean and after a moment of silence he tilted his head to the side. “Get over here,” He said with a slight smile. Dean grinned, glad to know that Sam wasn't too upset with him. At least that's the way it seemed. He walked over and set the pack down. He noticed how Sam was doing his thinking face, a look somewhere between thoughtful and constipated. 

“Hey, earth to Sam,” Dean waved a hand in front of his brother's face, “Are you okay?” He asked, raising an eyebrow. He hid a slight smirk at the fact that he startled Sam. But hey, he had needed to get his attention. Sam had been off in dream land or whatever. 

Sam inhaled slowly and straightened his posture. “Yeah, yeah. I'm fine Dean. I've just been thinking about what happened earlier…” He trailed off, going back to staring off into the distance, not really with it. 

Dean sighed and put a hand on Sam's shoulder. “Sam, it's okay. He's fine. Well, as fine as you can expect from this whole situation. To be honest, he probably would've reacted the same even if everyone had been aware you were coming and we'd told him, even if you said something different. He got overwhelmed. I would've overwhelmed him yesterday if he hadn't fallen asleep from the drugs in his system. Heck, I still don't know why I'm an okay person, but no one else is.” 

Sam looked over at his brother. “Yeah, okay. It makes sense. I mean, I didn't really want to interact with anyone after.. what happened either. I guess I was just hoping for something different. But hey,” He bumped his shoulder against Dean's, “Maybe victims like us just know you're demon proof,” Sam tried to joke. 

Dean chuckled, “Yeah sure, we both know I'm just a normal person.” He rolled his eyes. “And I'm pretty sure you're the better hunter.” Dean paused for a moment, contemplating what he was going to say next. “You should come back. I know you left because you needed to get away, but you're a great hunter and you help a lot. Everyone would love it if you came back.”

Sam looked down, “I'll… think about it.” Dean knew he had been asking Sam to come back for months now but this was the first time Sam had actually said he'd think about it. That made Dean's heart warm.  _ No chick flick moments. _ Sam was making progress, actually getting better instead of just saying he was fine when he really wasn't. 

“Hey Dean,” Gabriel finally spoke for the first time since Dean had come up here. Dean was actually grateful for that. “What’s that on your hand?” Gabriel continued, posing his question as he pointed at Dean’s hand.

Dean actually had to look at his hand to figure out what Gabriel was talking about. He actually felt bad he had forgotten Cass’ name was there. “Oh, this, our mystery man, he told me his name. Castiel Novak. Cass works as well.” Dean said, tracing the letters for a moment before looking up. He was surprised that Gabriel had a puzzled look. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Gabriel responded, “I just thought I recognized the name Novak,” He gave a shrug of his shoulders and waved his hand a bit, “But it's probably nothing. I’m old and losing my mind,” He joked, adding a flare of dramatics to his tone. Sam snorted, trying to contain his laughter.

Dean grinned and let out some chuckles of his own. He grabbed a few beer bottles and handed them out. This was great. His family, laughing, enjoying themselves. As Gabriel and Sam joked with each other Dean stared off into the dying light, drinking his beer. His mind wandered and thoughts of the strange things that had come up. Gabriel’s comment about Novak, his urge to keep Cass safe. He felt like there was something they were missing. But it was just out of reach. He sighed a bit. It was just a coincidence probably. Everything was fine. 


	5. The Lineage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who exactly is Castiel's family? Well, some digging reveals a lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I am excited to be able to get this chapter out. I have someone wonderful who has been helping me put my thoughts in order and get the story moving in the right direction and I can't thank them enough. 
> 
> Hope you all enjoy! Now onto the story. 
> 
> As a reminder, double line for POV and scene change. The other double symbols is just POV change.

Gold wings fluttered with anxiousness as Gabriel made his way down a long winding staircase. In and out. That was what he was supposed to do. Maybe. Hopefully. It was late at night which would normally be fine for something like this. But Sam had asked to stay with him for the night. Well, not in the same bed sadly, just in the same hut. That was good enough for now in Gabriel's book. If he made it back before Sam woke up that was. He hated leaving Sam alone but he had to use the cover of darkness to get down here. Who's bright idea anyways was to make the secret door only openable from the outside with moonlight? Oh yeah. His. Well at least the person that used this place the most could make their wings shine like moonlight without the moon having to be out. 

Speak of the devil. Haha. That was a bad joke. Gabriel was a little ashamed of his joke but oh well. He didn’t necessarily have the best of role models after all. Gabriel grinned as he purposefully ran right into the second ranking archangel (even if no one besides the other archangels knew that). The other looked down at Gabriel, surprised to see him, “Hello Gabriel. What brings you here?”

“Hey Luciiiii,” Gabriel responded in an overly cheerful voice. He liked messing with the other archangel. They may not be related by blood, but they were brothers. Two mischievous tricksters. “I'm looking for the lineage records. Point me in the right direction?” He asked, putting on puppy dog eyes just for effect. He may have learned that from Sam. 

Lucifer sighed a bit, but had a smile as he shook his head slightly. Gabriel knew it was because even Lucifer got overwhelmed by him sometimes, and their pranks were on par! He guessed he just had more energy these days. “Third hall on the right, the very back wall,” Lucifer said, pointing Gabriel in the right direction. 

“Thank you!” Gabriel beamed and hugged him one more time before literally bouncing off in the direction Lucifer told him to. Angel history… some weird texts that might've been a manuscript of the bible… lineage records! Here they were. Now Gabriel just had to hope that these were alphabetically sorted. 

It took several hours for him to go through the not alphabetically sorted records. He was going to have to ask Lucifer to alphabetically sort these. Finally he found the scroll he was looking for. He knew the Novaks had to be connected to angels somehow and he was right! Now just to unroll it and figure out why… oh. Well. That explained a lot.

* * *

* * *

“So he stood you up.”

Sam pinched the bridge of his nose, getting tired of his brother. “He didn't… it wasn't like that! I needed somewhere to sleep for the night, I asked if it would be okay if I slept at his hut, he said yes. There wasn't anything else to it. The only thing was he wasn't there when I woke up.” Sam knew he shouldn't be surprised, this was Gabriel, but he couldn't help feeling disappointed. What if he had had a nightmare and needed Gabriel. It could've happened. 

“It sounds to me like he stood you up,” Dean stated, tossing a file to say. Sam grabbed it and flipped through, just glad to have something to change the topic to. The two were looking over the recent case because Sam needed to know more about what had happened and Dean was trying to get this wrapped up. Sam wondered if Dean wanted to get it wrapped up for Cass’ sake. 

Sam frowned slightly as he looked through the file he had been handed. He skipped over anything that didn't pertain to Castiel. Cass was why he was here and he didn't really want any of the details about the demons. Demons were just… bad. He paused when he noticed there was no mention of Cass having a family. Or really, any information on Cass at all. 

Sam grabbed his laptop and opened it up, not noticing the look Dean gave him. Researching was just so natural he dived right in, searching for anything on Castiel Novak. There was so… little. Just like the file. Cass seemed to be a mystery. He did find an article from when Castiel went missing. And a couple articles on two cases, a murder and missing person, that were of people with the last name Novak. “Hey Dean, take a look at this.” He moved his laptop to show Dean. 

Dean scanned over what Sam had found. “Dang…” He trailed off. It was clear that he wasn't sure what to say. Sam didn't blame him. If these two women were related to Cass.. well, that would be hard. Sam knew how hard mom's death was still on Dean, and Jessica's was crushing to Sam though the timing was part of that. He refocused as he watched Dean rub his face. “I'll talk to Cass about it. There's probably no relation,” Dean said. But Sam knew that was just a hopeful wish.

“Okay. I’ll see if I can find Gabriel. And I’ll look into the two cases more as well. Even if they aren’t related there might be some supernatural connection,” Sam responded, bringing his laptop back over to him and setting in to dig up more about the two cases. He didn’t even realize how similar this was to hunting and how he’d just set right back into what was normal. He didn’t even notice when Dean left or the look he had. 

* * *

* * *

Dean knocked gently before entering Cass’ room. He smiled softly when he saw the way Cass’ eyes lit up as the other looked up to see him. “Hey Cass. How are you feeling?” He asked as he crossed the room. Instead of pulling up a chair he sat at the edge of the bed and rested a hand on Cass’ leg. He wasn’t sure why but he hoped Cass found it comforting. 

“Better,” Cass answered. His voice didn’t sound so rough anymore, but it was still so deep and gravely, and honestly, Dean loved that. It gave him chills a little. Even better was that he didn't react badly to Dean being so close. That was something. And it also meant that Cass hadn't been completely wrecked by what had happened. Or maybe there was something else going on, but Dean wouldn't know that. 

“that's great! I'm glad you're doing better. Hopefully we can get you up and moving around soon. I bet that would be great. I know I hate being trapped in a bed,” Dean chuckled, trying to keep the mood up while he was figuring out how to bring up the two women with Cass. 

Cass gave a nod. “I would like that,” He glanced down at his hands, possibly considering something. Dean wish he could know what was going through Cass’ mind. Maybe he'd be able to help him out more then. Dean just wanted Cass to be okay. 

“Oh, hey. Sam and i were doing some digging to try and find anything more about the case. And we found a couple women who also have the last name Novak. We were wondering if you knew them,” Dean said. He left out why they had found out about them. 

Cass’ mood brightened so much it hurt Dean. “Yes. I do. Amelia and her daughter Claire. Amelia and I are dating. She made the decision to have her last name changed to mine. We weren't ready to get married yet but it is a committed relationship. Sometimes she worries I will leave her like her last husband, Claire's father, so I was getting her a ring. That's when.. that happened,” Cass’ tone dropped a little at the end but he had been very happy to talk about Amelia. It was clear he loved her. 

And that hurt. Not only was Dean finding himself crushing on Cass only to find out he liked someone else, but he also had to tell Cass that that someone else had been murdered. “Cass, there's something I need to tell you-” Dean was suddenly interrupted by a knock at the door and couldn't have been more grateful. Surprisingly it was Gabriel.

Gabriel had an illusion over his wings so it looked like they weren't there. It seemed like he was making sure to be more cautious around Cass. “Hey Castiel. Hey Dean. I was wondering if I could talk to you Cass,” He said, shifting a bit in an awkward way. There was something he was clutching to his chest. 

-

-

Cass nodded. “You may.” He noticed Dean get up and walk over to the door, where there was someone else.They talked in hushed tones for a couple moments before Dean gave him an apologetic look and left. That made Cass a bit sad. But at least he wasn't being left alone. He found it was easier to be around Gabriel without the gold wings. He wasn't completely comfortable, but it wasn't bad. 

Gabriel settled down in a chair near the bed. “I have something I want to show you,” he said. Gabriel seemed a little giddy as he unrolled a scroll and laid it out across the side of the bed, where it could lay flat but not where it was in Cass’ way. 

Cass couldn't read most of the scroll, just a few letters and one repeating name. Novak. “Are these… my ancestors?” He asked, not completely sure what to say. He was trying to wrap his head around why Gabriel would have a scroll that had Novak written all over. 

Gabriel gave a nod and grinned. “Yeah! This is the record of all the Novaks that have been associated with angels. This is your lineage. A lot were priests or simply kind people who helped angels, but there's a couple who did a lot more.” Gabriel pointed to one of the names. “This man was Noam. He was the first captain of the guard of Michael. Michael would know a lot more than me, but I know the guard was formed sometime when it was just Michael and another in terms of angels. That was a really rough time. And then it disbanded sometime after I became an angel. More angels came to be after me. And some other stuff happened as well. So Michael didn't need a guard detail to protect him anymore.”

This was a lot for Cass to take in. His head kind of hurt. His family, came from a long line of spiritual and faithful men and women, he knew that. He hadn't known it was because they were close to angels. He counted his breathing like Sam had shown him, remembering that, and tried not to get too overwhelmed. It was just a lot to take in. 

Gabriel noticed this and shifted topics a little. “If you want I can add your name and the name of anyone else in your family line that's not on here. I know they or you may not have done anything grand like be part of Michael's guard, but you're still Novaks. And this is a lineage record.”

Cass responded with a faint smile. “Thank you Gabriel. I will consider it.” He placed a hand over Gabriel's then looked up as the door opened. He was happy to see Dean was back, before he noticed that Dean had a grim look. 

“Hey Gabriel,” Dean said. He didn't even properly enter the room, just leaned in the doorway. “We're starting interrogations.”


	6. Some see Crazy. Some see Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just your average adventure with a certain trickster archangel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a fun one because it follows exclusively Gabriel's mindset. Hope you guys enjoy!

Gabriel paced, fury evident in the way his wings kept flaring, now visible as he had dropped the spell, and the fact that his eyes hadn’t changed from gold, though they weren’t glowing, since Dean told him they were starting interrogations. There were several interrogations going on right now and while he had been told he could have a go at the leader, he wasn't allowed to until after Dean had. So now he was waiting, and wearing a hole into the floor.

Gabriel stopped and looked up when Dean came into the room. “And?” He questioned, tapping his foot and shifting his arms in an extremely fidgety manner. On a normal day he couldn’t stay still. This was a hundred times worse. He needed to get in there and… well they wouldn’t let him kill the man so that was out of the question. 

Dean gave a sigh, “I got nothing out of him. Not even a hint at how they were transforming people.” He ran a hand through his hair, clearly stressed. They all knew that they didn’t want to have to hand this over to M.O.L. “Alright, you know the rules, have at him Gabriel.” He said with a gesture of his thumb to the door. Nothing else had to be said before Gabriel was making his way to the room Dean had just come from. 

Gabriel neatly tucked his wings against his back and straightened his jacket before stepping into the room. He noted the man’s posture, they way he didn’t even look up from his hunched position over the table when he came in. It bothered Gabriel slightly but he kept his calm. Well, kept his calm the best he could. His eyes were still gold, pagan magic curling just under the surface of his skin. He sent a soothing reassurance to that part of him before clearing his throat. “Why were you turning people into demons?” He questioned, getting straight to the point. 

The man tilted his head to the side slightly, his lips tugging upwards slightly. But he still didn’t say anything or even look up. Gabriel honestly felt disgusted. “How did you get the knowledge to corrupt souls like that?” He tried another question. The lack of answers or any definitive movement was just infuriating him more and more. “Why were you corrupting innocent souls?!” He snapped, clenching his fists slightly to try and control himself. 

A sick laugh escaped the man as his faint smirk turned into a grin. And finally he looked up. “Wouldn’t you all like to know? You can’t even do anything against us. Not you, not the other one, not your little innocent souls. You’re just some creature lackey for these fools. None of you know what true power is.”

Gabriel slammed his hands down on the table, wings unfurling to their full length. "Shut up! You are  _ nothing _ compared to me! I am Gabriel! Vessel of Loki, the messenger, archangel, and harbinger of justice! And you have pissed me off." The last sentence he spoke in a low growl. He straightened his posture his eyes starting to glow and the tell tale hum of grace filling the room.

The man paled, realization of what Gabriel was finally hitting him. “You… y-your… it can’t be. You, you’re not real.. This is a trick of the gods above us. You’re-” He was cut off as Gabriel clasped his head and tore through his mind. He got the answers he needed and kept what wasn’t needed silent. When he let go the man went limp, eyes dilated and staring at nothing, mouth hanging open with a touch of drool. 

Gabriel turned and started walking in as a few hunters ran in. Dean grabbed his arm to stop him, and while he could’ve pulled free he didn’t. “What happened to the no killing rule?” Dean questioned sharply, clearly upset. He had every reason to be, Gabriel knew this.

The archangel rolled his still gold glowing eyes and looked at Dean, “I didn’t kill him. I just left him… a bit more of a vegetable than before,” Gabriel said before clapping his hands together. “Now, unless you want me to tear someone’s head of their shoulders with my bare hands, I’m going to bounce.” He pointed his fingers towards the door out before getting free of Dean’s grip and making his way out of there. 

Gabriel kept walking, ignoring everyone that he passed in the halls. He knew they were avoiding him. That was probably because he was still powered up. But suddenly strong arms were wrapping around him and he was being pulled against a very solid chest. At first he thought he was being attacked before he recognized the flannel his face was pressed against. His wings drooped, relaxing, and his eyes returned to their normal color. “Hey Sam.”

Gabriel let Sam bury his face in his hair and just hold onto him. He liked it as well. It was comforting. He didn’t realize he had needed this until now, the two just hugging each other. Eventually he felt Sam shift and step back. Sam placed his hands on Gabriel’s shoulders, “I’ve been looking for you for hours, I was so worried. What happened? Are you okay?” He asked, his worry evident in the look in his eyes.

“I’m fine. I’m sorry about ditching you,” Gabriel took hold of Sam’s hands. “Some… archangel business came up last night. And then I kind of got caught up in things. Checked in with Cass, went to help Dean with interrogations, turned a guy into a vegetable. The usual.” He shrugged, not really wanting to go into details.

Sam seemed to get the hint and started pulling Gabriel out of the building. Gabriel was startled by this as Sam didn’t say anything, but he let the other lead him. When they walked outside into the parking lot, Gabriel hid his wings with a spell, still confused but honestly glad to be out of there. Sam took him to his car, letting him get in the passenger's seat while he got in on the driver’s side.

Gabriel stared out the window as Sam drove. He didn’t go out like this very often so he was kind of like a puppy right now. If Sam would let him roll down the window then he’d be sticking his head out too. He’d done it before. Which was why there was a rule where he wasn’t allowed to stick his head out of car windows. He couldn't help it. It was like flying and he loved the feeling of the wind in his hair. A soft smile spread across his lips. He missed the happy glance from Sam. 

After a couple hours Sam pulled into the parking lot of a small cafe and Gabriel was literally bouncing up and down as he got out. There was nothing weird about it. This was just who Gabriel was. And he was definitely excited and curious. He'd never been here before. He quickly followed Sam inside. 

As soon as Gabriel saw the dessert display that was part of the counter, he was a lost cause. His eyes were wide and practically sparkling as he stared at all the sweets that there were. He ignored Sam's chuckle, not really paying attention to anyone else. 

“The usual coffee?” The barista asked Sam. Sam gave a nod, pulling out his wallet. “And some other things. Two of every macaron, one of every cookie, an Oreo cheesecake bar, and a cupcake milkshake,” He ordered. Gabriel perked up, finally paying attention at the mention of cake stuff. 

The barista processed his order and then got everything together. She helped Sam carry everything to a table, as Gabriel kept getting distracted. “Gabriel, have a seat,” Sam said with a chuckle, calling the distracted archangel over to the table. 

Gabriel quickly bounced over and sat down. His eyes widened again as Sam set the cheesecake bar and the milkshake in front of him. He tried the milkshake first and hummed in happiness. He ended up just sitting there for a few minutes sipping on his milkshake. 

Sam sipped his coffee. He let Gabriel have a few minutes before speaking up. “You know, you are the only person that I know that can even get close to eating this much sugar. And I know if I got you more you’d eat that as well.” Sam chuckled a bit with a slight shake of his head as he set his cup back down.

Gabriel shrugged. “What can I say. I am an Archangel with a sweet tooth. I’m addicted to sugar.” Gabriel took a bite of his cheesecake and hummed happily. “Plus I haven’t had anything this good since you stopped working for SPI.” Gabriel knew he probably shouldn’t have mentioned that but it had just slipped out. 

Sam pursed his lips. “Gabriel I-” He stopped for a moment, looking down at his hands. He was visibly struggling to continue but he finally managed to start speaking again. “I never wanted to leave you. I just, couldn't continue on at SPI with the way things were, what had happened. Gabriel… you, were the first angel I ever actually met. I remember, seeing glimpses of angels in the heaven sector, but I was honestly scared of them. Angels looked terrifying,” Sam admitted, “But then we found you….”

Gabriel reached across the table and placed one of his hands over Sam's. “I'm not mad at you for leaving. I understand why you did it. But I could never ever be mad at you. Especially because you reunited me with my brothers, with Michael and Raphael,” Gabriel said. “You were there for me, and I was there for you.”

Sam laughed a little, but it was definitely half hearted. “You've done so much for me Gabriel. I try to do what I can for you, but it's nothing compared to what you've done for me. I-” Sam was cut off as Gabriel shook his head and shushed the giant moose man.

“Remember how you found me?” Gabriel asked. “You looked like you still had baby fat you were so young. Even if you'd been hunting for years, you'd only seen the true cruelty of reality recently at that point. And then you found me. John could've cared less, thought you all should've just tossed me with the other angels and been done. But you didn't. You carefully removed the threads that had kept me silent for years. You cleaned the blood from my skin. You learned how to take care of wings from the other angels so that you could groom mine. And after all that, when I was stuck in my own head, mentally and emotionally broken, when you were close to giving up, you managed to coax me outside and finally got me to speak again. You did that Sam. It was all you. So don't you dare say you haven't done enough for me. Neither of us would be here without the other.” Gabriel was incredibly firm and confident in the last two sentences he spoke. His grace and magic got really excited, a tug on his heart affirming not only that what he said was true, but why he said it. 

Sam was nearly in tears. Sure, this had supposed to be a peaceful afternoon with treats and relaxing. But it had turned into something else. Maybe the something else was what both of them had needed. “since.. since coming back to help Dean with Castiel,” Sam started, taking deep breaths to calm himself. “I've been thinking about coming back to SPI. As much as i don't want to admit it, it's where my home is.”

Gabriel honestly couldn't have been prouder of Sam's progress and decision or happier that Sam was going to be around long term again. “I'm honestly glad. I would love if you came back, but it is your choice,” Gabriel responded with a cheesy, hint of awkward, smile. A thought crossed his mind and he considered it. He could mention that, but it might be a bit much, but maybe he could mention it a little in a different way. “Sam, I have to ask, what are we? Like, I know we are friends, but.. are we more?” 

Sam actually, visibly faltered, like that wasn’t something he had been expecting to be asked. Gabriel didn’t blame him. It had always been simple for them. Sam furrowed his brows for a moment, thinking, before finally speaking. “I haven’t actually dated anyone since Jess,” He admitted, “But… I wouldn’t mind trying, with you. As long as things don’t have to be different between us.”

“This is me Sam. You don’t have to worry about anything changing between us.” Gabriel knew that what they had was special and he was internally squealing because Sam was willing to try dating him. Usually getting in a relationship was a more chill thing. He’d use his charm, flirt a ton, get some fun out of it and move on. This. was. Sam. Sam was special to Gabriel. And he would be sure to make sure Sam was aware that he was special.

Sam smiled, “Thanks Gabriel, that, actually means a lot to me,” He said, “Now come on, finish your cheesecake so we can go. I'll let you eat some cookies on the way back.” Sam chuckled and finished his coffee.

Gabriel grinned and quickly scarfed down the last of his cheesecake and for good measure, much to Sam's fake horror, the rest of his milkshake. He took care of the dishes that needed to be returned and threw away their trash as well. He returned to Sam as fast as he could. Sam was waiting with him, holding a plastic bag that contained the cookies and the macarons. They walked together out to Sam's car. As they walked Gabriel decided to make a, small, move and hooked his index finger around Sam's. And instead of pulling away, Sam smiled. 

* * *

* * *

Gabriel flopped onto his bed, grabbing his pillow and squealing into it. A box of macarons and what was left of the cookies now sat on his nightstand. He couldn't believe his luck right now. Sam liked him! And now they were pretty much dating! Gabriel was so happy. He rolled back and forth across his bed, as much as his wings would allow, practically a giggling mess.

Michael was walking by Gabriel's hut when he heard the squeal. He quickly stepped inside, worry evident on his face. Gabriel didn't notice him until Michael cleared his throat. “Is everything okay? I thought I heard you screech but I wasn't sure.” He explained.

Gabriel scrambled into a sitting position, his cheeks red, and his wings fluffed up from embarrassment. “I'm fine Michael. I was just squealing.” He bit his bottom lip, kicking his feet back and forth. Okay, maybe he'd gotten a touch over excited. But he couldn't help it. This was him! In a situation that involved Sam. Two plus Sam equaled feelings. .

Michael raised an eyebrow and went over to Gabriel, sitting on the bed next to him, “Want to talk about whatever happened?” At this point it was clear Michael wasn’t worried, rather just wanting to check in on the situation. While Gabriel considered Michael to be like an older brother, Michael sometimes acted as a dad, and that was okay. 

Gabriel leaned and fell back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. “It’s a dream come true Michael. Sam took me out to a cafe for deserts to help me calm down after a situation, and the best thing happened. I asked what we were, friends or otherwise, and said he was willing to try dating me!” Gabriel gave a small squeal, muffled by his hands. 

Michael chuckled, because of course what Gabriel said explained so much. Gabriel had spilled the connection he felt with Sam to Michael since day one of being reunited with his older brother. Michael ruffled Gabriel’s hair. “Congratulations. I am happy for you. I know you’ve been wanting this for a long time, and if you ever need relationship help, you know I’m here for you.”

Gabriel bounced into a sitting position before tackling Michael with a hug. “Thank you!” He giggled just from how happy he was right now, his wings fluttering as another proof of sheer joy. Michael laughed and returned the hug. Family didn’t end in blood, and they were a family that would always be there for each other. And it seemed like the family was headed towards getting bigger. 


	7. Let me Take Your Hand, I'll Make it Right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things take a turn. What will happen?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes! The name of the fan fiction has changed! I chose a new name that I felt fit better. Let me know your thoughts. On that note, the fanfic now has a theme song that defines the entire story. It is We all Lift Together, the Freya Catherine version. 
> 
> And this chapter has a song! Interpret it as you will. 
> 
> Hold On (Acoustic) - Chord Overset

Sam walked down the hall towards Dean's room, looking for his brother. He was admittedly still a little shaky from the almost-date he had had with Gabriel. There had been a lot of emotions shared, but every time he thought about how Gabriel wanted to date  _ him _ it brought a smile, though small, to his face. He wasn't watching where he was walking, not really needing to as memory carried his feet in the right direction. Plus it was late so there was hardly anyone up and about. In fact the only person he had passed in the entire building since getting back was Benny, which made sense. The vampire didn't really need sleep so often walked the halls, like a night guard. 

Suddenly Sam's shoulders were being grabbed and he was face to face with Dean. “There you are,” Dean said, sounding a bit exasperated, “I've been looking for you for hours. There's something you have got to listen to.” Dean was pulling Sam into his room before he could even get the smallest word in. Dean pulled out his phone and started playing an audio recording.  _ “Shut up! You are nothing compared to me! I am Gabriel! Vessel of Loki, the messenger, archangel, and harbinger of justice! And you have pissed me off _ . _ ” _

Sam's jaw went slack, instantly recognizing the voice. He had heard it just no more than 10 minutes ago. And of course the clip just confirmed who he thought it was even more. Sam was honestly in shock. He had never once heard Gabriel like this. The archangel sounded so furious, it was uncharacteristic. “When was this?” He looked up at Dean, worry seeped into his tone. 

“Earlier today. We were having interrogations and I sent him in. He just snapped. Something triggered him. I mean, yeah he was irritated before but something happened because one minute he was simply irritated and the next fire was raining down from the sky.” Dean ran a hand through his hair. “The guy that was being interrogated was a vegetable before we could get in there. I'm pretty sure Gabriel would've torn him apart if he didn't have some semblance of control. But that's not the weirdest part. We've been trying to figure out what Gabriel meant with what he said. Archangel is pretty obvious. And we think that messenger and harbinger of justice are biblical or something like that. But vessel of Loki is the most confusing. I was hoping you knew.” 

Sam could only shake his head. At first he just felt, numb. He knew something had happened from the way he'd seen Gabriel before they left, and from when Gabriel had said he'd left a guy a bit more of a vegetable than before, however he hadn't quite realized that the situation had gone this far. And then he started to feel anger. Sure, Gabriel probably had the right to keep his past, which had to be where these titles were from, at least some of it, a secret. But Sam thought he had meant something to Gabriel. Especially after everything they had been through. Especially after today. And here were some things that sounded pretty major popping up, and he wasn't hearing about them from Gabriel first. That made him upset. “No. He's never said anything about any of those titles besides archangel. Send me the audio recording, I will talk to him,” He said, tone firm and clear that he was not happy. He didn’t even give Dean a chance to respond to him before he was stalking out of the room and where he knew he would find Gabriel. 

* * *

 

The recording played over and over in Sam’s mind as he marched up to Gabriel’s hut. His anger was simmering, growing. It brought about a craving he hadn’t had in a long time, one that he had to shove back as much as he could. When he made it to his hut, he didn’t even bother knocking, he just walked right in, fuming. 

Gabriel bounced to his feet, “Hey Sam!” He said cheerfully. But the second he saw Sam his face fell. “Sam? Are you okay? What happened?” He asked softly, the concern evident. Sam wished Gabriel wasn’t being concerned, that he would be his normal self. Maybe it would’ve been easier then.

Sam pulled up the recording Dean had set him and dropped his phone on the table in the room. “Explain yourself,” He responded in an icy cold tone, almost completely devoid of emotion. With a press of a button he played the recording. It hurt just as much listening to it the second time as it did the first. 

Gabriel visibly flinched when the recording played. “Sam… I’m sorry… It's not what-” He was cut off by a very angry Sam. 

“Not what I think?! It's exactly what I think!” Sam snapped, getting up in Gabriel’s face. He didn’t notice the way the archangel shyed back. “You kept this from me for years! I thought I knew you! I trusted you! And now I hear this?! Something that is clearly important and you’ve been keeping from me! I cared for you Gabriel.” Sam’s tone changed from anger to desperation. 

Gabriel looked away. “I should have told you…” He whispered. He sat back down on his bed. “Harbinger of justice and messenger are from a really long time ago, B.C. kind of long ago. I’d run messages around for Michael, and kind of picked up the other title as I helped people in bad situation.” Gabriel ran a hand through his hair. “Vessel of Loki. Oh boy. That, is an even older title and a long story.”

Sam crossed his arms. “I don’t care. I want to know.” Sam was willing to listen for however long it took for Gabriel to explain. At least he was getting an explanation. Maybe things weren’t really that bad. But he still felt hurt.

“Do you know why my wings are gold, and when I power up my eyes go gold as well?” Gabriel asked to which Sam shook his head. Sam assumed it was some form of magic at least when it came to his eyes. “Well,” Gabriel continued, “Before I was an archangel I was a Norwegian viking, a follower of Loki to be more specific. I lived in a village with other followers of his. We were all outcasts. He took us in. Everything I know, Loki taught me. Well, pagan gods need host bodies to survive on this plane. Loki’s was starting to wear thin and I was picked to be his next vessel. It wasn’t an immediate thing. There was at least of training involved. But… a few months before I was to become his vessel, something happened. Our village was attacked. Loki and I were out at the time. WHen we got back everyone was dead. I had gone to check the temple in case anyone was alive. When Loki got there, we were ambushed, they drove a wooden stake through his heart and killed him. I… remember screaming, holding his body, and… a bright light. The next thing I knew was the attackers were laying on the ground, their eyes burned out.” Gabriel rubbed his arm. “I had six wings on my back. I was scared. I didn’t know what had happened to me. So I ran. I was so tired, but I didn’t stop until arms were catching me and I was embraced with white wings. I’d ran for weeks and ended up in Galilee, where Michael, Lucifer, and Raphael were. I was no longer some viking. I was an archangel.”

Sam’s anger slowly washed away as Gabriel told him the story. His posture relaxed, and now, he kind of felt guilty for getting mad at Gabriel for not telling him. It sounded like it had been a really hard experience, and extremely personal. “I’m sorry for being mad at you for not telling me…” He said quietly. 

“Hey, its okay Sam. I’m not mad at you. I honestly should’ve told you sooner. This was not how I wanted you to find out,” Gabriel responded. He held his arms out for Sam. “Come here.” Sam gave in and sat next to Gabriel before sinking into his embrace. Sam still felt bad but now he knew who Gabriel had been before he was an archangel. 

Sam wasn’t sure how long Gabriel held him, he might have fallen asleep. But that didn’t matter. He felt safe and loved. That was what mattered.

* * *

* * *

Dean was honestly very confused after Sam had left. He had sent Sam the recording then had found himself not really sure what to do. So the hunter started making rounds through the halls, trying to clear his head. He didn’t pay attention to where he was going and that was his mistake when he ran into someone. He was startled and immediately reached for his gun, only to realize it was just Benny. He sighed. “Hey Benny.”

“Hey Dean,” Benny said, a worried look settling over his face, “Is everything alright?” 

Dean had known he would ask that question but he didn’t know how he was supposed to answer. There was Sam going off clearly upset,the mess with the interrogations, and finding out about Cass’ family. Oh god. He hadn’t told Cass yet. He buried his head in his hands. “It’s been a long day.” He mumbled.

“Jeez, I can tell. You look like you need something to drink that’s heavier than beer. Come on. I have some stuff left from my pre vampire pirate days.” Benny offered. 

“Thanks Benny. That sounds like exactly what I need.” Dean mustered up a smile and followed Benny to his room. He flopped down onto the couch as Benny grabbed a couple glasses and a bottle that was definitely old. It had to be strong. He took a glass when Benny offered it and took a sip. “Oh, this is good. Why have I not had drinks with you before?”

Benny chuckled. “Because I’m a vampire and can’t get drunk,” He said. “So, want to talk about what’s up?”

Dean set his drink down. “Like I said, long day. There were interrogations, some mess involving Gabriel, and… Cass,” Dean buried his face into the couch cushion it was closest to. “Sam and I discovered some people close to Cass are dead or missing. I haven’t told him yet.”

Benny winced slightly. “Ouch, that is rough. Why haven’t you told him yet?” He asked.

“He was so happy when he was talking about them, and then I got pulled away for interrogations, then I was dealing with the aftermath from Loki.” Dean groaned. Why was his life hell today.

“You definitely shouldn’t keep this from him then. Break the news as soon as you can.” Benny encouraged.

“Yeah.. you’re probably right…” Dean sighed. The longer he waited to tell Cass the harder it would be for him to say anything and the harder Cass would take it. 

“I’m sure you will be able to do it. And if you need help, I am here,” Benny pat Dean’s shoulder in a comforting way.

“Thanks.” Dean gave a tired smile. “I’ll see if he’s still awake. If he is I’ll tell him when I check in, if not I’ll tell him in the morning.”

Benny nodded. They spent the next half hour drinking and just small talking. Dean thanked him and headed to Castiel’s room to check on him.

He found the man fast asleep, looking rather peaceful. Dean couldn’t help but smile. There was just something about Castiel. He brushed a few black strands of hair out of Cass’s face, his touch lingering slightly. His cheeks flushed as he took a quick step back. His heart raced with familiar yet foreign feelings. He shouldn’t be here. Dean quickly left the room, running a hand through his hair. Did he have feelings for Cass that were developing? No, he couldn’t. Maybe? He didn’t know. He really didn’t know. 

Cass never noticed Dean.  


End file.
